The Chijioke Life

It is my third day of driving...actually 6th day of driving since last Wednesday... 3 days going and 3 days coming back. We are on our return trip to Texas and - - I'm tired.   It's not just the refereeing and frequent mediation between warring factions, the whining (I kinda detest whining!), the sore back and gritty eyes from sharing unfamiliar hotel beds with my 2 littles (not exactly blissful slumbers) or the endless miles of Arkansas countryside stretching before me on this hazy, summer morning...  I am weary... worn.... honestly, I'm exhausted.  I am ready and willing to follow the vision God is calling me to ~ leading me towards ~ but, I'm weary of the pain and sadness of doing this alone, the fear of not knowing exactly what the future holds...  ::: knowing that these decisions may mean choosing to leave my comfort, my place of friends and love for the majority of my adult life and my kids lives::: My logical mind keeps running through the cost:benefit analysis..

Today, I took the kids to see the liberty bell on the campus of Liberty University - housed in a little white gazebo, down the road from the infamous "rock", tucked between parking lots, across from the massive new buildings sprawling across Liberty's beautiful campus.  It was such a gorgeous summer afternoon as we stood there, a gentle breeze blowing, surrounded by the beauty of the green hills encircling us...  We came back to the campus today on our return trip to Texas armed with a map and directions to find the brick, at the new library, purchased in honor of Cj and our time at LU.  We found our brick, took pictures and toured the campus amidst slightly forced smiles and occasional sad hearts as we were forced again to recognize the void in our lives without Cj, even as we built new memories and dreamed of the future.  Oh, the memories that came alive as I walked the campus with the kids! I loved getting to share this place with them, but, I struggled to keep the smi

Have you ever felt like, in life, you were standing at the edge of a precipice about to take a plunge? That weird sense of nauseating excitement and nerves as you wonder what awaits if you dare to take “just a step”? The gut twisting, teeth clenching anxiety as you wonder what awaits... Have you ever stood at a crossroads, turning in slow, dizzying circles as you ponder which path to choose… understanding that whichever route you choose will bring uncertain futures – many good, perhaps many difficult and you try to weigh the costs without truly knowing what price they may require? Life is such a tangle of choices… sometimes I can’t trace the threads back to the one that led me to the point where I am standing now – at a crossroads, on a precipice, peering over the edge, feeling the wind whistle past, my heart skips a beat and my breath catches in my throat as I stare at the future looming… As a girl, I handed the reigns of my life over to the One whom my soul loves… my pr