My Circle

My Circle

Friday, June 26, 2015

Growing past the worry

It is my third day of driving...actually 6th day of driving since last Wednesday... 3 days going and 3 days coming back. We are on our return trip to Texas and - - I'm tired. 
 It's not just the refereeing and frequent mediation between warring factions, the whining (I kinda detest whining!), the sore back and gritty eyes from sharing unfamiliar hotel beds with my 2 littles (not exactly blissful slumbers) or the endless miles of Arkansas countryside stretching before me on this hazy, summer morning... 
I am weary... worn.... honestly, I'm exhausted. 
I am ready and willing to follow the vision God is calling me to ~ leading me towards ~ but, I'm weary of the pain and sadness of doing this alone, the fear of not knowing exactly what the future holds...

 ::: knowing that these decisions may mean choosing to leave my comfort, my place of friends and love for the majority of my adult life and my kids lives:::

My logical mind keeps running through the cost:benefit analysis... The pros:cons list seems weighted unfavorably this morning as I ponder my options. 
Worry nibbling at the edges of my heart... The "what if" and "what the heck are you thinking" statements and questions are tumbling around the corridors of my mind as I cruise down this beaten interstate... (I am currently sitting at a rest stop waiting out another bathroom break!), "Jesus... am I hearing this right? Am I truly following Your voice in this?"

My prayers and thoughts churned as I worried about the impact (long and short term) on each of them and my own life... Deciding to ignore the thoughts for now, I reached to turn on music as a distraction and this song came on... It couldn't have been more perfect...

"Hello, my love.... your future waits for you, the certainties are few... I know you're scared...but the voices in your head will soon be Mine instead.. they'll say, great plans I have for you...

I know you're tired, the darkness in your eyes I've come to recognize, so lay yourself down, in the shelter of my tree and rest awhile with Me, here... 

Great plans I have for you, 
great plans I have for you, 
great plans I have for you....

Prosper you will,
I know you will,
I know you will...

Great plans I have for you."

Kiddos are back from the toilet break, I snapped a few pictures of the lovely flowers growing here and we are ready to continue on our homeward trek.

 I do not have many answers to my questions - but, much peace abounds as I anticipate the coming days. I may face more days of churning emotion - I expect it - but, I know the One whom will also be there ~ in my crazy moments ~ to hold, comfort and reassure me. I hope you know Him like I do!


  1. This is wonderful! That song was played especially for you right then, Jesus made it happen.

    He did that so many times for me right after I lost my dear husband.

    This song is a good one for me right now too. I've never heard it before.

    All will work out for you and your kids.

    Love, hugs and prayers ~ FlowerLady

    1. Isn't it incredible how God works?? I love it!! :)
      Thank you for your prayers!! Excited to see where God is taking us next...

  2. I just happened to click on the link to this page during my morning visit to "Widow's Christian Place" page. What a God orchestrated moment! I reached the four year mark on this journey in March. Since then I since a need to change to move forward taking my life in a totally different direction than I ever dreamed. A direction that I a part of me know that it is a God chosen path, where another part wonders if I am missing God. Thank you for this blog was just what I needed to get off the fence and trust the plans that He has for me.
    ...coming out of darkness...the journey continues...