My Circle

My Circle

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Hiding in Jesus

Hiding in Jesus
Today was a hard day, I start thinking I am doing okay and then unexpectedly the pain comes... Had a regular check-up for the baby today, and I felt that I was going to be okay, but when I walked into the office, the reality of how much my life is changing hit me and I broke down when the pediatrician walked into the exam room.

Also today, I began the process of cleaning out my bedroom, removing a lot of the things that speak so loudly of Cj's presence - as we began pulling stuff out and I saw again how my life is changing, I found myself withdrawing and that now familiar ache spreading... I asked my sister to turn on my ipod and just shuffle my songs.
Two songs came on, the first one which I haven't heard for probably 5 years at least! But these two songs were exactly what I needed to hear from my Savior and I was so blessed as His love spread into my hurting heart and again became that "balm of gilead" for me at that moment...

I'm going to post a portion of the words from each song below, I would reccommend going and listening to them in their entirety if you get the chance. The first is about hiding in Jesus and went with the scripture I had been given, Psalm 91.

"Hide My Soul" ~ Avalon
Here I am with nothing left to say
How can I even speak?
All my dreams in life lay scattered
Like ashes beneath my feet

Can you see the pain behind the smiles
The tears run down my face
Will the sun ever shine on me again?
Where can I hide?

I will hide my soul in Jesus
I will rest my heart in Him
When the storms of life rush over me
I will not let them in

There will be no pain in heaven
But for now and until then
I will hide my soul in Jesus

Now I know there's nothing I can do
Nothing that I can say
You alone are the anchor of my soul
Don't let me slip away

"Oh how He Loves Us" ~ David Crowder Band
He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us oh
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.

As each day passes and I run into more situations where I am forced to confront my weaknesses and grief, I realize again and again that I have to keep turning to the Lord for the strength for each day!
I stand in awe of how amazing my Savior and God is!! I am humbled to think that He has chosen me and prepared me for this journey, that He is there and providing what I need for each moment!

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