My Circle

My Circle

Friday, December 20, 2013

A pause for reflection

"Ok, are you SURE that is all we need? There is nothing else I need to grab? Because at this point, we are playing triage... If we don't have it, we don't need it!!", this was phone call #5 from the already-crowded-at-8am-Walmart as I raced around grabbing last minute items for cookies & baked goods to make and give to the neighbors and friends for Christmas.
As I did this, I was mentally going through checklists of to-dos...bills that must be paid, forms that must be faxed... I am a multi-tasking maniac (not necessarily to anyone's benefit) and this time of year, with the endless parties, "quick" runs to the stores and added pressures does not tend to bring out the best in people... For me, walking into a store from the middle of November through the end of December instantly puts me on edge, my heart beats a little faster and I start gritting my teeth... Heck, driving into the PARKING LOT makes my stomach acids start roiling!! LOL
As I made my way home with a carload of baking goods, my mind racing through the insurmountable list of things that must be done before and around end of year class parties, wrapping presents, figuring out birthday celebrations for 3 of my kids and, "oh! I have to work 12hr night shifts in there too...sleep?? Highly overrated!!".
 I have all these delightful, wonderful,  Pinteresty, smile-filled ideas that I want to get done with my kids before this holiday season is through and we are once again left with an empty pocketbook, piles of wrapping paper and tighter clothes... "Lord, I want this season to MEAN something to my kids and I... I don't want entitled attitudes and ungrateful hearts... And I want to be a blessing to the precious people you have placed in our lives..."
Some of these sweet friends came to mind and I had a yearning to start praying for these beautiful, precious women alongside myself, as I know we all tend to get overwhelmed with our checklists, "...MUST make this a "heartfelt, memory filled, true-meaning-of-Christmas" holiday season!! We cannot just cave to the materialistic, unfettered selfishness that often this time of year can reveal in our kids, families... ourselves..."
I felt a "Spirit check" as I started to pray - asking for peace and provision as we finish up our last days before Christmas, "...what about this list is so all important, Hannah? What about these activities are bringing your mind and heart back into focus with Jesus... What is drawing you towards His heart?"
 As I thought through my list I began to defend myself, "...but, Lord, these are GOOD things and I just want to bless my kids and bless those around me, those that are blessing me, I want to spread "good cheer" and shine Your light with the love and joy that these gifts can offer..."


"...but, what about ME? How are you blessing me with these endless activities?"

::full stop::

Stammering, "...huh, well... I..."

Where are the quiet times of reflection, the mulling through words and stories of Christ and why this time of year even exists? "...Hannah, my love for you is unimaginable...stop the rushing and allow some time for reflection...My Beloved speaks and says to me: arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away..." Song of Solomon 2:10"

So, I am home and yes, I will do some baking today... But, I've got another perspective on things today... I'm going to remove a few items from my checklist and instead hope to pull out a Christmas story and read to my kids when we get home... My frantic edge isn't as sharp at the moment... I'm praying it stays that way and I don't forget my quiet time with Jesus... After all - He is the Reason for the Season (:
Praying for each of you, that you will find a quiet moment to reflect as well in the midst of our busyness... Hear the call of the "silent" night in Bethlehem and enjoy His presence today! 
Love to you all and Merry Christmas!!
"The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them has light shone." Isaiah 9:2

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