My heart is full, the ache is present, but, God's love and presence is strong...words come slowly tonight... I have been keeping busy - busy with all the things that must be done or attended to, and as long as nothing goes wrong, I'm okay and able to deal with life. But, when I start getting stressed, I internalize for as long as possible and then I just become a mess!! Yesterday, after a long day of doing "things", at the end of the day I was a trembling shambles of nerves and stress - I decided then that Cj has been gone long enough and I'm ready for him to come home and help me with all of this stuff that must be done...I don't want to do this alone!! I realize I am using these things, that must be done, as distractions from my grief and loneliness...some distraction is necessary and I'm glad for it. But, after a while I can't pretend or ignore it anymore... My poor family and close friends have had a front row seat to my pity party and venting... U...
Our new family story as I, and my 5 children, learn to thrive - not just survive - after the loss of our "main man". This life is a continuing walk in God's amazing grace. "To each one of us grace was given according to the measure of Christ's gift." Eph 4:7