My Circle

My Circle

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Keeping our eyes on You...

I have been struggling the past few weeks with grief and how to deal with it. I've had this odd sense of "numbness" with an underlying tone of irritation, almost anger. I'm tired of being sad, tired of barely staying afloat with homework, housework, etc, tired of being ambushed with an emotional upheaval from minor things! Tired of missing my husband...and it has only been 3 months. **sigh**

Today as I was driving, a beautiful and familiar song began playing

Our God is, a consuming fire,
A burning holy Flame, with glory and freedom
Our God is, the only righteous judge,
Ruling over us with kindness and wisdom

We will keep our eyes on You
We will keep our eyes on You

Tears filled my eyes as it dawned on me, the answer to all of my inner turmoil "...we will keep our eyes on You..."
The "stuff" of life has been crowding back in -- I realized that I have been forgetting where my true strength lies and attempting to get through this on my own. I have been battling waves of doubt and stress, pain and crushing depression... I've found myself putting off my morning devotions and quiet time as I rush through the morning, getting the kids out the door and to school on time... "I will just do them later, next time I am back in my room..." -- and that next time ends up being when I fall exhausted into my bed late at night.
Instead of keeping my eyes locked onto Jesus', I was staring down into the swelling, dark waves and beginning to sink!

A mighty fortress is our God
A sacred refuge is Your Name
Your Kingdom is unshakable
With You forever we will reign

Our God is, jealous for His own
None could comprehend, His love and His mercy
Our God is exalted on His throne
High above the heavens
Forever He’s worthy...

We will keep our eyes on You
We will keep our eyes on You
So we can set our hearts on You
Lord we will set our hearts on You

By the end of the song I was singing along with Christy Nockels, praising God - - I don't know what my fellow drivers thought as I drove by with one hand in the air and tears streaming from under my sunglasses!! Lol!

I will set my heart on You, Lord -- no matter what this life may bring, Lord, by Your grace, keep my eyes on, You!

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