Skip to main content

Struggle Well!

"Consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls." Hebrews 12:3

This passage, from my morning devotions, jumped out at me. I have been struggling with such weariness and a deep sadness as the reality of life without Cj looms and the enormity of this loss fills our daily existence with a breathtaking pain. The shock has somewhat worn off, but, the "missing him" gets worse by the day...

When my son turns to me and says, "...I know what you are saying, but...I am having a hard time believing it -- how am I supposed to accept this?!!..." I feel so completely inadequate to answer his questions and to reply, "...well, honey, I don't know... but, God is in control...", that just seems so inept and almost false.
I KNOW God loves my children and I KNOW He has a good plan for each of them and that He IS in control... and that He is GOOD. But, how do I translate that to them, in ways that are understandable and meaningful, when all they see is that their daddy is gone and they miss him horribly...

So, I have been feeling very weary and discouraged and that verse really spoke to me. We ALL go through sorrow, trials, times when we do not see or understand God's "good" plan -- at times it doesn't look "good" at all and we can't see how it could ever possibly turn out better!!
What we are going through right now, is huge... life altering...out in the open for all to see... But, I know that everybody struggles or will struggle, usually in private, with becoming "weary and discouraged in our souls" as we journey through life's hardships.

So, I just wanted to share that verse and encourage each of you to continue to "struggle well" and to not give up hope -- "So, let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up." Gal 6:9

Below are part of the words to a beautiful song by Watermark that I heard today while driving about on my many errands and appointments. It was an excellent reminder of our true focus and future joy! (:

Your face is beautiful
And Your eyes are like the stars
Your gentle hands have healing
There inside the scars
Your loving arms they draw me near
And Your smile it brings me peace
Draw me closer oh my Lord
Draw me closer Lord to Thee

Captivate us, Lord Jesus
Set our eyes on You
Devastate us with Your presence
Falling down
And rushing river, draw us nearer
Holy fountain consume us with You
Captivate us Lord Jesus, with You

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Embracing The Path

"I hate, hate, hate being a widow" I exclaimed, tears trickling down my face into my hair as I lay on my bed, talking on the phone with a friend. "I am 38 years old and I don't know who I am, because my life got turned upside down 6 years ago and I no longer know me.... actually, that isn't true, I do know...", I whispered, "I just don't want it." "I don't want this life and yet I feel like in order to move forward into what God has for me, I need to embrace this truth of who I am - even though I didn't choose it." , my voice broke as I swiped uselessly at the endless trail of silent tears, "I. Didn't. Want. This." I am at a conference  for my company this  holiday weekend  and it has been great! A few days packed full of information, knowledge, laughter, new friends -- and self examination and truths.  This was supposed to be a weekend of business training and yet all I keep hearing is "know who yo...

A 40th Birthday

Cj would have celebrated his 40th birthday yesterday.  No matter how well I think I've prepared for it, acknowledged it... no matter how many times I've been here in the almost 6yrs of walking this path; the anniversaries - birthdays, holidays, our wedding, his death - these days are brutal for me.  It doesn't matter how well I've been doing or how strong I'm feeling in the weeks leading up to them -- there always comes the day when I can't hold it together anymore and the grief comes roaring back to center stage.  I can blame it on exhaustion, stress, sadness of other circumstances around me triggering it, but, the truth of the matter is that I just miss him.  I hate being a widow.  Hate my kids not having a daddy.  Hate missing him so badly it hurts to breathe.  Hate remembering the good times only to awaken to the reality again.  Hate mourning the "what should have been".  Hate walking around choking on tears and drow...

Changes... Daring to Change

Have you ever felt like, in life, you were standing at the edge of a precipice about to take a plunge? That weird sense of nauseating excitement and nerves as you wonder what awaits if you dare to take “just a step”? The gut twisting, teeth clenching anxiety as you wonder what awaits... Have you ever stood at a crossroads, turning in slow, dizzying circles as you ponder which path to choose… understanding that whichever route you choose will bring uncertain futures – many good, perhaps many difficult and you try to weigh the costs without truly knowing what price they may require? Life is such a tangle of choices… sometimes I can’t trace the threads back to the one that led me to the point where I am standing now – at a crossroads, on a precipice, peering over the edge, feeling the wind whistle past, my heart skips a beat and my breath catches in my throat as I stare at the future looming… As a girl, I handed the reigns of my life over to the One whom my soul loves… my pr...