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The mysterious grace of God...

Looking back I can clearly see how the Lord was preparing me for Cj's death - - months beforehand! Little things that I overlooked or labeled as "coincidence", now jump out at me, showing just how much care God took in preparing me, as only He knew I needed, for this road that I was to take. One of those things was a certain song, "Can I Lie Here" by the David Crowder Band, which I heard a few weeks before Cj died.
I had my iPod playing one day as I was driving and it came on and I was struck by the presence of God and felt like He was pointing this specific song out to me. I listened to it several times over, something about it intrigued and it resonated deep within my soul - though I couldn't figure out why...
It seemed to speak from the depths of the soul, from one who has gone through much and knows the truth of those words.
At the time I remember wondering why God was impressing this song upon me, I didn't have any intense struggles going on at the time and I remember wondering if perhaps something was "coming".
I prayed and asked God to do what He needed in my life and left it in His hands as to what was to come...
It wasn't long after Cj died that this song came back to mind and I realized with stark clarity why God had brought me to that moment previously - He was lavishing His grace and love upon my heart as He knew the suffering we were about to experience. It was a way of letting me know He knew what was coming and was Present!
It is a beautiful and mysteriously pressing melody, as only the David Crowder band can perform! I listen to it now and see God's loving arms wrapped around us as we have gone through the fog of grief and pain these past 10 months... God is good, so thankful to be His beloved daughter!

Can I lie here in Your arms
My only thought is You
Save me

Can I lie here in Your arms
My happiness is You
Save me

Oh how lovely this place
To be with You

Oh the brightness of Your face
Here with You

Oh my only calm is You
Oh my only thought is You
Oh my happiness is You

To be with You

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