My Circle

My Circle

Sunday, March 3, 2013

choices and crossroads

Do you ever feel overwhelmed with life choices? The need to decide "which way to go" threaten to take you down? That's where I am right now...a lot of the time actually over the past 18 months. It seems like the "crucial choices" and "crossroad moments", they never end!! Each one will have an impact on my life... on our future... on our lives... each one is big and stressful for various reasons.
The reason it is so tumultuous now is that before, I was able to bounce ideas off a trusted source and could garner some sense of direction from hashing things out with my husband.
Maybe it was a sort of crutch, having him to talk to about things... Because being on my own, this has forced me into learning to really seek, intentionally ask, for discernment from God alone (through His Word and trusted sources of counsel) -- and I feel so inept at it! Life is busy and constantly moving and I can't just sit down and wait til the writing on the wall appears. I wish I could - but, God knows this right?

"...Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us." Psalm 62:8

Father, I can't do this... I can't do this by myself... God, I need Your help...Lord, my heart is not haughty, nor my eyes lofty, neither do I concern myself with great matters, nor with things to great for me... Ps 131

My heart, my soul's, cry is to live each and every day - every moment - in perfect alignment with my Father's will for these short years on earth. Why is it SO difficult in the miry moments of daily life to figure out exactly what that is?
God speaks... He assures us, over and over, " My face... when you seek Me, you will find Me..." Lord, when you said "seek My face", my heart said "Your face, oh Lord, I will seek!! Do not hide Your face from me, nor turn Your servant not far from me, oh God of my salvation!!"

These thoughts and more, keep me up all hours of the night... turning each angle of the puzzle over and over as I try to see where it lines up, where it nestles into the plan - the perfect plan - that God has for me/us.

I don't want to mess up... I don't want to waste time going down a rabbit trail path that isn't necessary, or less than beneficial. Lord, you know my heart!! I'm crying out to you, I'm pouring out my heart before you - Abba...

"God has caused me to be fruitful in the land of my affliction." Genesis 41:52

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ." 2 Cor 1:3-5

Lord, I am so grateful, so thankful for every hard moment, every difficult hour... thank You for what You are teaching me as I learn to walk by faith and learn the preciousness of having a personal relationship with the Creator of the universe.... the Lover of my soul!

"The Lord stood with me and strengthened me, so that the message might be preached fully through me..." 2 Tim 4:17

"Let those who suffer according to the will of God commit their souls to Him in doing good, as to a faithful Creator." 1 Peter 4:19

As I stare into the abyss of a new week with choices yet to be made, I stand timorously, yet (by faith) surely on the foundation that as I humbly seek what God has for me, He will be faithful to guide me. As I take steps, asking for His leading, He will guide - shut doors, open windows, whatever is necessary!
I may have an occasional hiccup, I may have to learn hard lessons as I go, but I have peace in trusting that He is looking at the "bigger picture" and that this tapestry will be beautiful -- stunning -- with intricacies yet to be made known, a reflection of His light and love.

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye... Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, "This is the way, walk in it"... Ps 32:8, Is 30:21a


  1. What a beautiful post and oh so true. Your words were the inspiration I need this morning.

    Love, hugs and prayers for you and your family.

    FlowerLady Lorraine

  2. You are totally on the road the Father has for you. As I was reading your post so many of the scriptures that I was thinking of for you, you quoted yourself. He is with you in each of these decisions as you make them this week. I, too, have felt that the decisions have to be the "right" ones, and I hear myself in what you're saying about missing your husband to bounce things off of. He was not a crutch you leaned on, but the partner God asked you to work with at that time. God is the Lover of our souls just like you said. He is, for now, your husband, the best you could ask for. Now you are learning to partner with Him in a new way for such a time as this.

    I'm just repeating what you said only not as well! :-) I should just say, "Amen!" You are on the right track and I think your Father God is so proud of you!!

    Sue B.

    1. Thank you Sue - I really liked what you said about my husband being the partner God asked me to work with at that time... loved that perspective!! (: