My Circle

My Circle

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

No longer

"...I'm no longer a slave of fear... I am a child [a daughter] of God. 
You revel me with a melody.. You surround me with songs of deliverance... 
'til all my fears are gone... You have chosen me... Love has called my name..."

So you guys know that when I get away, especially to a place that has the beauty of nature surrounding - and when I get overwhelmed in life - I start writing. It is my soul's therapy and this particular note has been building in me for months... now, I have a moment or two to get it out! So, bear with me... a bit rusty, but, healing {for me} all the same. 

This song (No Longer Slaves) has been my soul's refrain, in the midst of this glorious mess, this temporary passing, called "life on earth". A friend posted this song yesterday and I have been almost overcome with emotion as my joy in being His child overflows. This past 12-18months have been fraught with fears - felt like my foundations were shaken, more than ever before in my life. I had some issues that I had to come to term with in my relationship with Christ. Questioned my thought process and beliefs... He walked alongside me the entire way - allowing my questions, cries and fears to tumble out in my disjointed, incoherent and hectic way. 

::No longer a slave to fear::

My struggle has been over what a disastrous mess we are and how any of it makes sense... in my perfectionist, controlling mind I am constantly berating and admonishing myself..."WHY would God love me? How can He ever use me? I am the biggest of sinners and messes" --  and as I sit in my mire, I am humbled by the perfect love of Christ as He reaches down, picks me up, brushes me off and delights in me as His beloved child... {I am in awe. There is no condemnation in His eyes}. 

::Perfect Love casts out all fear::

The night before Cj died, my brother was doing family devotions and talked on walking life with our eyes FIXED, focused on Christ's eyes, never removing them even when the waves of life want to overwhelm. I did not know how timely those words were to be... in my darkest moments, I turn to that face and look into His eyes and see (WHO I AM IN HIM)

::I am a child of God, my fears are drowned in Perfect Love::

To be fully known and yet, deeply loved and cherished all the same... this is Perfect Love. I am in no way deserving and yet {He lavishes His love upon me}. 

"I give You thanks, O Lord, with all my heart; I praise Your name for Your unfailing love and faithfulness. For Your promises are backed by all the honor of Your name. As soon as I pray, You answer me; You encourage me by giving me strength." Psalm 138:1a, 2b, 3

Everywhere I turn, I see the nightmares, the pain, the grief, the sickness... that is oftentimes of our own sin and making on this passage of life - but, not always our choice. 
I watch my son, turning his soul towards his Maker... choosing to seek His face, in the midst of, often times crushing disappointment over not having a dad in this world... my heart breaks -- and yet smiles through my tears as I see his sweet faith and pure devotion. {My God is good and He has called us out onto this deep water. He is faithful}.

::I am no longer a slave of fear, You surround me with song::

We are called to LIVE in this life, abundantly and thriving where we are placed -- called. Sometimes I am afraid of stepping out and LIVING... But, I am called to this journey... in the midst of questions, stressors, choices -- {I am in His perfect love and will for my life}. 

::He has rescued me, I've been liberated::

My prayer is that you can each know this relationship with Christ... there is nothing greater or more to be desired. 

::You have chosen me, Love has called my name::

"Praise the Lord; praise God our Savior! For each day He carries us in his arms. Our God is a God who saves! The Sovereign Lord rescues us..." Psalm 68:19, 20

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