My Circle

My Circle
thechijiokelife

Saturday, August 8, 2015

The last moments...

Today is our last day as a family in North Texas... I am finding it hard to believe this day has arrived...

It's been a hectic, chaotic day--week--month. As I run around checking off last minute details and fixing last minute hiccups... I feel the pull of emotion, always in the background, as I subconsciously contemplate the sudden REALITY that we are, in fact, moving away from our community and the state we have called home for the past 13yrs -- the only home my kids have ever known, the place we were a family with Cj...

On top of the regular stress of this time, with all that moving entails, I'm also in the midst of my business' annual grand convention - this event is such a mountaintop experience that it makes my tumultuous emotions even more a contrast - such a surreal experience!!
 
My/Our feelings are such a jumble -- we are excited for where God is leading us, enjoying the surprise of the unknown...

::but there is so much unknown awaiting us -- we don't even have a home yet!!::

The pull of the familiar, safe, loved... the KNOWN and consistent...
It is a struggle today to hold onto the excitement of the road ahead as I try to navigate the ambiguity of not only my emotions, but, all five of my kids too!! Trying to reassure them, as they look to me with questioning eyes, that it WILL indeed be okay, and yes, we ARE going to be alright... when I'm inwardly trying to reassure myself of the very same thing!

 ::I am feeling worn down with the weight of it all::

Dear Jesus... Am I truly making the right choice?? Is this move, this path the one I really want to take for us? Dear God, the cost feels too high on this day... As I drive the familiar highways and skyline surrounding me... This is where Cj brought me so many years ago and I was uncertain of what the future would hold, we were alone and had no community... just our little family and You... 

Then a quiet Voice speaks to my tired and scared heart..

"...and look at what I have done for you, Hannah, in this place you considered a desert...the place you said you would never go... when you relinquished your control over the situation to My will - see what fruit and abundance I poured out on you and your family? Seek Me first... with all that you are... And I will add all of those things as needed...Go forth."



 
I am heading to finish up my last details before attempting to find a few hours of peaceful sleep. May I encourage each of you, as you face your own "giants" of choices and leaps of faith... CHOOSE to thrive, CHOOSE joy and CHOOSE to be brave. Love and Hugs one last night from the Chijioke Castle in Texas ~





2 comments:

  1. Blessings on your brave and courageous heart! With God, you CAN do this, and with flying colors.

    FlowerLady

    ReplyDelete