The other day, as I was driving, the following song came on and the words struck me deeply!
Throughout this journey, I've never strongly felt the need to ask, "Why". Why did God allow this to happen? Why has He chosen for my children and I to go through this pain and this journey?
God has allowed other circumstances in my life (which I now consider blessings in disguise) where I have learned, "Why not me?". I know that sounds rather harsh, but, what makes me so special that pain should not touch me?
Please, do not get me wrong, I do not desire to go through trials or pain!! I shudder to think of more pain coming, desperately pray no more comes. The other day, Justin said with a profound sadness in his voice that no 7yr old little boy should have, "when I'm at school, my eyes keep filling with tears, I have to keep wiping them -- I want Dad...I just want Dad!", these moments pierce my mother's heart like a knife and I weep for the pain that my children go through... that we are all going through.
But, I feel like the Lord is gently asking of me, as He holds me and wipes my tears, "will you allow Me to do a far greater work in you than you could have ever hoped or dreamed? Will you let Me do, in you, the miracle you had been asking for, creating in you what I always intended for you to be -- even when it has to come through pain?"
I believe, because I have seen it firsthand, that joy does come in the morning and the Lord can and will do exceedingly, abundantly above all that I could ask or hope. This trust I have implicitly...and I thank God for it, even through my tears - - I can praise Him in this storm and truly say, "Jesus, bring the rain"...
Bring The Rain ~ Mercy Me
I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain
I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray
Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
This is the nutshell of what I feel when I have my focus where it needs to be. I was created to worship God and to bring Him glory, I pray, with my life - however that may be and according to His perfect will. If our suffering can bring God glory, can turn even one heart to Him - - then it will all be worth it! I know that we will see CJ again, that he is alive and well - learning the ropes in Heaven! I'm almost jealous, wish I was there with him, praising God and getting to spend time with Jesus - - face to face!! But, I know that God is not yet finished with us here on this earth.
II Corinthians 4: 17-18
For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.
Throughout this journey, I've never strongly felt the need to ask, "Why". Why did God allow this to happen? Why has He chosen for my children and I to go through this pain and this journey?
God has allowed other circumstances in my life (which I now consider blessings in disguise) where I have learned, "Why not me?". I know that sounds rather harsh, but, what makes me so special that pain should not touch me?
Please, do not get me wrong, I do not desire to go through trials or pain!! I shudder to think of more pain coming, desperately pray no more comes. The other day, Justin said with a profound sadness in his voice that no 7yr old little boy should have, "when I'm at school, my eyes keep filling with tears, I have to keep wiping them -- I want Dad...I just want Dad!", these moments pierce my mother's heart like a knife and I weep for the pain that my children go through... that we are all going through.
But, I feel like the Lord is gently asking of me, as He holds me and wipes my tears, "will you allow Me to do a far greater work in you than you could have ever hoped or dreamed? Will you let Me do, in you, the miracle you had been asking for, creating in you what I always intended for you to be -- even when it has to come through pain?"
I believe, because I have seen it firsthand, that joy does come in the morning and the Lord can and will do exceedingly, abundantly above all that I could ask or hope. This trust I have implicitly...and I thank God for it, even through my tears - - I can praise Him in this storm and truly say, "Jesus, bring the rain"...
Bring The Rain ~ Mercy Me
I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain
I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray
Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
This is the nutshell of what I feel when I have my focus where it needs to be. I was created to worship God and to bring Him glory, I pray, with my life - however that may be and according to His perfect will. If our suffering can bring God glory, can turn even one heart to Him - - then it will all be worth it! I know that we will see CJ again, that he is alive and well - learning the ropes in Heaven! I'm almost jealous, wish I was there with him, praising God and getting to spend time with Jesus - - face to face!! But, I know that God is not yet finished with us here on this earth.
II Corinthians 4: 17-18
For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.
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