Skip to main content

Daddy's little dancer







This has been an emotional weekend for me - rather took me by surprise, but, that is how it usually does...
This weekend was Cadence's dance recital weekend, 3 days packed full of hair-dos, make-up, adorable costumes and fun/hectic moments!
Cadence was in 3 shows, and as I was getting her ready for the first one, I was struck suddenly by an intense sadness and longing for Cj. The last "big family event" before we went on that vacation last year was Cadie's first dance recital.
I remember the flurry of getting ready last time - Cadence was "daddy's little girl" and Cj was a big marshmallow where his baby girl was concerned!!
He who always complained about "wasting money on cut flowers that are going to die anyway", didn't blink at buying his little dancer a bouquet!! (:
He was SO proud of her!! He and the boys cheered for her after she danced and afterwards he made sure we took lots of pictures. Those were our last family pictures...
So the rush of recital this weekend brought back all of those memories and Friday night, I found myself sitting in the audience amongst friends, choking back tears and holding myself together by sheer willpower...
Today was the last day of recital, Cadie was beautiful and had so much fun dancing, she was thrilled her family was there watching her!
As we walked out to the car afterwards, Cadence skipped alongside me and told me with a smile that "...daddy was watching from heaven and he clapped for ALL the songs..."


Comments

  1. CassandraannJune 14, 2012 at 10:43 AM

    I know it must still be hard, but I'm sure it helps to have such wonderful memories of CJ! And so sweet that Cadence can think of her dad and be glad.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hiding in Jesus

Hiding in Jesus Today was a hard day, I start thinking I am doing okay and then unexpectedly the pain comes... Had a regular check-up for the baby today, and I felt that I was going to be okay, but when I walked into the office, the reality of how much my life is changing hit me and I broke down when the pediatrician walked into the exam room. Also today, I began the process of cleaning out my bedroom, removing a lot of the things that speak so loudly of Cj's presence - as we began pulling stuff out and I saw again how my life is changing, I found myself withdrawing and that now familiar ache spreading... I asked my sister to turn on my ipod and just shuffle my songs. Two songs came on, the first one which I haven't heard for probably 5 years at least! But these two songs were exactly what I needed to hear from my Savior and I was so blessed as His love spread into my hurting heart and again became that "balm of gilead" for me at that moment... I'm going to post a...
Post a Comment
Read more

Free falling...

As I continue on this journey, I find that it is the little things that are catching me off guard and causing the most pain... I think because I'm not prepared for them. The big things I am ready for and I am able to take a breath and kind of "shore up" my emotional safeguards in preparation. But, the little, unexpected events - like removing the empty soap dish from Cj's sink in our bathroom and realizing that I don't have to fill it again, or when his phone popped up a reminder to change the air filters monthly... these things remind me again of the reality that he is never coming back and waves of grief wash over me and the tears flow... This week has been full of this emotional roller coaster - add to that a fretful and clingy baby who is no longer sleeping at night, stress filled moments/days over Cj's transportation to Nigeria, some anxiety over situations that were out of my control but nevertheless counted as my responsibility and fault, trying to keep...
Post a Comment
Read more

Living in the shelter of His wings

Not really!! Just had a heart-stopper episode of frantic searching for a missing, deaf, 3yr old... Complete with running the block, kids searching the house, dragging the huge solar cover off the pool (wiped out on the ice with that one), searching all cars, frantic prayers, searching every closet, cupboard, bed, tossing every pile, feeling about to vomit as I called 911 after we couldn't find her ANYWHERE... Only to have my prayers answered when we found our sweet angel sound asleep in a toy box covered with a blanket..... She had hidden well!! Tears of utter relief and joy!!!! 911 operator chuckled when I started crying as I told her, "we found her and she is okay!!" #longest10minutesever #horrific #imdone #icedin #wrungout #needachiropractor #thankful #praisingGod The above was my post on my social network site yesterday.... I was babysitting my nieces & nephew and because of the ice storm we got in North Texas, ended up being alone with all 9 children (my ...
5 comments
Read more