Christmas morning....

Its Christmas morning...I'm sitting here in a quiet, empty house - pandora's playing christmas music gently in the background and the christmas tree lights are twinkling at me from across the room, wrapped presents still piled underneath... it is beautiful! We only got into our stockings this morning, my family took the kids to church this morning and we are going to open presents when they get back. I stayed home to "take a nap" because I am scheduled to work tonight...
But, I am missing Cj too much today -- I started looking for any pictures of him that I could find and the tears simply won't stop today...
I made it through our first birthdays without daddy and the first Thanksgiving without my husband was sad and I kept looking for him...but I got through without breakdowns -- I didn't expect Christmas to bring such a well of grief, this entire week leading up to Christmas has been been rough! I miss my husband so very much -- we are missing our daddy, it is hard to be alone and doing life without him. It just doesn't get better...

The words to this song, by Michael Card, are running through my head... a comforting reminder:

Immanuel our God is with us
And if God is with us who could stand against us
Our God is with us
Immanuel

For all those who live in the shadow of death
A glorious light has dawned
For all those who stumble in the darkness
Behold your light has come

Immanuel our God is with us
And if God is with us who could stand against us
Our God is with us
Immanuel

So what will be Your answer? Will You hear the call?
Of Him who did not spare His son but gave Him for us all
On earth there is no power there is no depth or height
That could ever separate us from the love of God in Christ

Immanuel our God is with us
And if God is with us who could stand against us
Our God is with us

Thanking God that He is with me, that He has never left me alone and never will. Thank you all for your prayers this Christmas, we have been overwhelmed, again, by the love and support from our wonderful circle of friends and family! We love you all.

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